I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
