Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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