haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
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