i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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