just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
