Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
