I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
