when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
