OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Screwed.edu
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
