from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
