Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
