I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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