then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
