PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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