How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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