the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
