You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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