I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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