let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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