I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Randomize
