Joe is yelling at the trees again.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Randomize
