Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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