I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
