I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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