The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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