Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
