It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
My hand turned me down
one might say we're banned from that church
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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