I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
so let's talk penis.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
