I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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