That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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