if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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