Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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