I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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