I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
