Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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