Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
