i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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