Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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