Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
