I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
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I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
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remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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