grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
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You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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