Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
