just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
how can u be prego again
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Randomize
