took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
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Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
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Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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