I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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