Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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