my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
