i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
