just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
