While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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