the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
