I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I have aggressive nipples.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
