her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
