it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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