is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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