she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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