First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
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sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
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Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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