I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
